


Michael Westen's Guide to Fighting Off a Sharknado

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Burn Notice, Sharknado (2013)
Genre: Crack, Duct Tape, F/M, Fusion, Gen, Humor, Michael's Advice on How to Be a Spy During a Sharknado, References to Michael/Fiona, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 11:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For this prompt on comment-fic on lj: "Burn Notice, Good guy ensemble, They've dealt with hurricanes, drug dealers, and the CIA, but they weren't really prepared for Sharknado."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Michael Westen's Guide to Fighting Off a Sharknado

The thing about sharks is, everyone knows to be careful of them in the water.

When you're a spy, you have to know how to fight them when they're flying through the air.

That's why it's always handy to have some duct tape, a blow torch, and if you can get it, some C4. 

It also helps if you have an ex-Navy Seal who can hold his breath for three minutes. Get him to swim up the sharknado, tape the explosives to a flying shark, and spread some accelerant around the waterspout. At that point, it's just a matter of lighting it up and getting out of the way.

Of course, that's just not practical if there are too many sharknadoes to handle each of them individually. But a good spy knows that sometimes, the only thing that can take down a man-eating sea beast is a bigger man-eating sea beast.

Which is why it's always nice if your girlfriend has a hacker friend who knows a smuggler who knows a merman mercenary who knows some giant squids. 

I know a Squid-urricane sounds like its a bad thing. But when you're dealing with really, really sharp teeth, sometimes it's your only option. Mix one Giant Squid-urricane with a bunch of flying sharks, get your team to a nice dry hiding place, and you're good to go.

Miami weather may not be as good as the tourist brochures imply. But if you're prepared and you have the right tools, you might be able to make it through the day without being eaten by flying sharks. And every good spy knows: you can't gather good intel if you're being eaten.


End file.
